I just ended my relationship with my boyfriend because I couldn’t stand his lack of support anymore. He finally answered his phone this afternoon, and we talked for about an hour, and almost everything he said just further cemented the fact that we just cannot work. He believes that I’m doing better handling my issues on my own, but I disagree. I don’t think couples need to share every aspect of their lives together, but I think when it comes to an issue like my mental health, the other person should play a role in the fight against it. I need that support if I’m in a relationship with someone. I don’t mean to say that I’m a clingy person and I think relationships solve everything, because they don’t; it’s just that I was receiving zero support from him, and that’s just inexcusable. The bottom line is that he has his own issues he’s afraid to confront, and he’s been avoiding me because I remind him of them while I’m facing my own.

Right now, this is all a huge weight off my shoulders and I feel quite relieved, but I know it’s going to hit me eventually and be incredibly painful. We’ve had a strange relationship that’s spanned over years, and it hurts that this is how it’s ending. We met in an art class in 2003 and hit it off really well. Then, in 2005, he walked out of my life without notice and it really, really fucked me up. I later found out he went to live in Germany with another woman. We ran into each other (quite literally, on a crowded sidewalk) earlier this year, and I somehow was able to mostly forgive him for everything and rekindle our relationship. We had a good run for a few months, but it eventually started to fall apart, and now it’s over.

I refuse to allow this to screw me up as much as it did before. I have a better focus on certain goals now than I did then, and I have an amazing support system. I can make it through this.