That time I met Richey Edwards (the lighter side of psychosis)

While talking to a friend last night, I was reminded of one of my “good” hallucinations. It happened sometime last year, obviously prior to my breakdown, and before the time when I fully realized all of my symptoms the way that I do now.

I was lying in bed one night trying to get to sleep when I saw the shadowy figure of a man sitting in the corner of my room. It frightened me, but I also knew it wasn’t real (on some level), so I pulled my blanket up more over my face and tried to force myself to sleep. It didn’t really work though. I kept thinking of him sitting there, and every time I opened my eyes, he was there. Eventually, I managed to close my eyes for quite a while and started to drift off to sleep. That’s when I felt my hair being moved away from my face and tucked behind my ear. My eyes shot open and I sunk back into my bed, gripping my blanket to my face. The figure was hovering over me, and I knew then that it was Richey Edwards. I was terrified at first, but then I was overcome by a sense of calm. He wasn’t there to hurt me; he was thanking me for keeping his memory alive in others (I’m heavily involved in the Manic Street Preacher fandom online, for those who don’t know).

At the time, I knew this episode wasn’t really real, but I was slightly concerned with how real it had felt. I didn’t worry too much though because it had been something fairly nice to experience.

Week later, I was reading an old interview of Richey’s, and (I believe) he was discussing sex with groupies, and how women don’t expect to be treated very well in that scenario, so little things like brushing the hair out of their eyes or other tender gestures tend to take them by surprise. I think my jaw hit the floor at that moment.

I don’t honestly believe that what I saw was some kind of ghost or actually real in any way, but so far this is the only story I’ve got where a hallucination was somewhat entertaining & “good” (albeit somewhat embarrassing).